Changes in Life and Blogging  

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I have been getting alot of people adding me to blog catalog from this blog. It makes me wonder are they really reading the blog, if they were, they would notice i have not blogged here in a very long time.
There is reason for this.
Before I quit writing in the particular blog, I was at a point in my life where I thought I was very content. I was happier than I had ever been, I had many plans, I was in love, and I was looking forward to moving on in the next chapter of my life with the one I loved.
The higher powers above had other plans. On Jan25th I was so excited to get home, so excited to call the love of my life and give him the good news. Little did I know that day my whole life would change. A drunk driver ran a stop sign and slammed into me, rolling my car, and severly injuring me. I sustained many broken bones in my pelvis, hip, and back. Some of my internal organs were damaged and needed repairing,, and I had a brain injury. I was in a medically induced coma for about a week and was in the hospital for almost a month.
My life was changed so dramitically and so quickly, and i had no control over it.
I couldnt accept my broken mind and body. I couldnt accept the fact that everything changed the way it did. I started shutting people out, the ones i loved, the ones that loved me. I became mean, biter and self centered. I was seeing a neuropsychologist for my brain injury and also in helping me deal with all that had happened.
As my brain started to heal more and more, I realized the person I had become, in that realization i realized I had lost the one I loved and pushed him away. That realization had come to late, he had already moved on with his life.
I realized the amount of people I had hurt along the way as I tried recovering, and the more i realized all this the more i started to hurt in the inside. I was a good person, why did God let this happen? In all my anger, i pushed all that mattered to me away. When I realized the damage I had done, i vowed that I would take a new stand, I would try and make things right, although i knew with one it was too late. Today he and I still talk about once a week real briefly, and i have reunited with my family again who remained patient with me through out it all.
I am now walking on crutches although very slowly! My brain is now functioning again like its suppose to, and I have made a promise to myself and the ones I love that I will never ever become that biter person again. I understand now that it will take time for my broken bones to heal, it will take time to get my life back, I have learned the word patience and I have learned the word Hope. Patience in knowing that its going to take time to recover completely. Hope..knowing that something better is instore for me, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
With patience I will reach Hope!
I have been blogging off and on, but I quit blogging here. this blog is a chapter in my life that has been closed.
If you have read this and still wish to follow me, then follow the link to my current blog, otherwise, this is the last thing im writing in this blog.

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