The Sweet Sounds of Morning  

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Looking out my window this morning the heavy rain had died down to a drizzle. I watched the muddy stream of water run downhill to the waiting mud puddle. I dreaded the morning, I dreaded the day. I honestly did not feel like slopping around in all the mud and wetness this morning.
Steam rose from my coffee in hand, i took a sip savoring the taste. I love my coffee. Im a coffee freak. "GET UP NOW, LAST TIME IM TELLING YOU" I yelled. I was yelling at my 2 teen daughters who will not get out of bed for school.
I watched the grey skies turn darker, and the drizzle began to get heavier.
Suddenly I wanted to be a kid again. I wanted to jump in the huge mud puddle, I wanted sing and dance in the rain.
Why the sudden change? only seconds ago I dreaded slopping in the mud, now i wanted to play in the mud.
I heard footsteps in the hall. "im sick of the rain mama!" a grouchy shelby said as she entered the bathroom.
I wondered if she thought i could end the rain?
The toilet flushed. "Get out of my way" a grouchy Aimee snapped. Assuming she was making her way to the bathroom now.
I did not get up early this morning, no, i wanted to sleep in. I do not even remember saying good night to him. Did I fall asleep on him?
"mama where are my black jeans?"
"mama do we have any breakfast?"
"mama! Nora wont get off my bed"
"mama! whats for breakfast" (didnt i hear that one already?)
"Shut UP!!" a loud boom from my brother who has moved in with us for a little while longer.
"You shut up Lonnie, MAMA! Is Mama still in the house? MAMA!! whats for breakfast?"
The rain looked so peaceful, i wondered if raindrops spoke to eachother.
I turn the voice echoing through my room, i see shelby with hands on her hips. "mama we are going to be late why did you let us over sleep?"
ME????? yea blame me! I remained quiet and turned back to my window.
Then it hit me, these are the sounds of my life, these are the sounds of my love, these are the sounds that i would truly miss if anything should happen to them.
I walk down the hall to the stairs..hmm lonnie said he would not be coming home but didnt i hear him yell shut up? I peek in his room, yep he is in the bed. "when did you come in?" I asked.
"about 4" he said turning over and throwing his pillow on his head.
In the kitchen i find Aimee eating a poptart.
I make another cup of coffee.
The dogs start to wrestle, the growls of two massive dogs rolling around on the floor about to engage in tug of war, thier mouths on the cloth, they begin to tug, the growls becoming louder.
"WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO YELL?" lonnie himself yells.
"Shut up Lonnie, Mama's pissed, shes not talking" Shelby yells.
I smile, no I was not pissed.

Aww the sweet sounds of morning. I wondered how he is going to feel waking to these sounds?

I feel much better today, we talked of my fears somewhat last night.
My fear of loving and losing.
Yes, i admit, i feared loving so deeply and losing him and though the fear is still there, atleast now he knows how i feel.
I smile, hes so understanding, why didnt i just tell him to begin with?"

"we are going to get detention for being late again"

"MAMA, tell aimee to shut up"

my piano invites me, one of the dogs bump me in the leg while playing tug of war.
RIP! Nora wins
Oh shit, its the missing black jeans.

Yes, the sweet sounds of morning.

Today I remain............quietly inlove

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